The Return of the Sheriff
by Shade Salogel
Summary: The Sheriff considers returning to Nottingham. Set in the universe of the Facebook app "Robin Hood", and third in the Robin Hood Series.


The Return of the Sheriff

Disclaimer: This story is just for fun! I hope you enjoy it—any feedback is greatly appreciated. Please ask my permission if you want to use any of these ideas.

This is a sequel to my other stories, A Day in the Life of the Sheriff of Nottingham and The Great Sherwood Chase.

This story was written to go with the Facebook application game of Robin Hood. If you haven't played Robin Hood, this story probably won't make sense.

There were only fifteen messengers at the door that morning. Geoffrey accepted the scrolls, and sent the anxious messengers off before they could start clinging to him. Sorting through the parchment, the former Sheriff of Nottingham found eight for himself and seven for Clifton, the former Captain of the sheriff's guard.

"More requests from the outlaws?" Clifton asked, coming down the stairs into the entrance hall. Geoffrey nodded.

"I think they're getting desperate to have us back. They can't advance through the ranks without completing the quests we're part of, and no one else is willing to take up the post of Sherriff, or Captain of the Guard." Geoffrey looked at the fancy room around them. "Let's go outside to the garden."

The two men strolled into the well-maintained gardens. "We need to decide what we're going to do soon, Geoff." Clifton said, taking his stack of parchments and dumping them in with the hundreds of other scrolls under a hedge. "Your wife's parents have been very gracious in hosting us, but I do not want to stay here any longer than necessary."

"I wish- though it's strange to say this- there was some way we could go back," the former sheriff murmured, running a hand through his black hair. "I do not like that we just left the townspeople to deal with the outlaws."

Frowning, Clifton opened one scroll and scanned its message. "What if—" he began, his brow furrowed in thought, "what if we negotiated with them? Yes—we'd give them a list of demands. If they agree to them, we could go back, on a trial basis!"

"So they could only spy on you during set times?" At Clifton's nod, Geoffrey laughed in delight, continuing eagerly, "and if they burn down my house, _they_ have to rebuild it."

"Well, why not?" Clifton's eyes were bright. "If we come up with a good list of terms, we might be able to bring some sanity and control back into Nottingham."

Sitting at one of the secluded tables in this corner of the garden, the sheriff unrolled one of the scrolls and turned it over. He drew a pen and bottle of ink from his belt pouch and rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "So what should we ask for?"

Clifton sat down across from him and pulled out his battered list of quests from his green dragon pouch. "Well, we need to put limits on things—last report, there were 300,000 active bands in the forest." He paused to rub his temple. "That is far too many. Anyway, Most of these quests aren't specific—it doesn't say how many berries they need when foraging, or that they need to keep those berries. So limit them to five berries each time they do that quest."

"What about this new thing Robin mentioned the last time he was over—'Quest Mastery'? If they do the quests over and over, it will still strip out all the bushes in hours."

"Put a bucket next to the bushes." Clifton waved a hand and imitated berry-picking. "After they pick the berries, the bands put them in a bucket. If the bushes are stripped, the next band can take berries from the bucket."

The list of demands Geoffrey and Clifton designed for the outlaws was impressive, ranging from returning stolen bread to fixing whatever they broke (or burned). As Geoffrey signed with a flourish and a smile, he realized they had a problem. If either of them set foot in Sherwood or in Nottingham, they would be snatched by some of the less scrupulous bands and forced into their old jobs.

"We need someone to negotiate for us." Clifton said, when Geoffrey voiced his concern. "But who could we get to do it? It has to be someone who won't be fooled by any tricks the outlaws might try."

The sheriff's eye twinkled. "Too bad they don't respect my wife—she always manages to get incredible bargains when she goes shopping."

"Excuse me, sirs," one of the house servants appeared at Geoffrey's elbow, looking horrified at the man's ink-covered hands. "There is a, er, gentleman wearing a hood here to see you."

Clifton and Geoffrey exchanged a glance. "Robin Hood himself! He would be perfect." Geoffrey turned to the servant. "Please show him in here."

"Very well." As the servant left, Clifton grinned widely.

"Yes, Robin will be perfect. None of the other outlaws will be able to trick him, and we can trust him to negotiate on our behalf."

As soon as Robin Hood appeared through the cultivated trees, he stopped short, alarmed by the twin maniacal smiles of Geoffrey and Clifton. "Good morning, my friends," he said, with some foreboding.

"Come sit, Robin." exclaimed the sheriff, voice enthusiastic. "It's wonderful to see you again. What brings you to London?"

"Marian wanted to take Ellen a Dale to the shops for a day. Allen is escorting them around the stores, and I begged to come visit you instead of carrying bags all day." he rubbed his red beard, smiling. "My minstrel is quite irritated with me now."

Robin looked with curiosity at the paper Geoffrey was holding, but refrained from asking about it. "So what have you two been doing recently?"

"Us?" said Clifton nonchalantly, grinning so widely that Robin edged away. "We've been trying to figure out a way to control the outlaws so that we can return to Nottingham."

Robin nodded sagely. "And what have you come up with?"

"This." Geoffrey slid the list of conditions across to Robin. The outlaw read through it, obviously amused.

"'Spying is only allowed during regular business hours, with an hour break for lunch, and only when the captain of the guard is outside?'" Robin laughed. "You know, I think the bands just might be desperate enough to accept these terms."

"Would you and Marian be willing to bring these to the outlaws and see if they will abide by these terms?" Geoffrey asked, leaning forward.

The great outlaw was silent for a long moment, then grinned. "I would be delighted to, my friend. And I think I can persuade Marian to help me. Then, once you are back as Sheriff, we will have a race to see who can snatch whom first!"

Geoffrey laughed. "Yes, we will see. But I have many plans for your capture, Robin Hood."

Robin knew that many of the outlaw band regularly visited their 'Discussion Board.' Their behavior there was very strange—one person would post a parchment on the giant oak board, and then everyone else would cluster around to read it, and write their own comments back about it. The lurkers especially amused Robin—there was never enough room in the overhanging tree branches, so often the lurkers got pushed out of the tree into the open by a fellow lurker trying to see the post.

Clearing his throat, Robin glanced around at the participants of the outlaw contest. "I am Robin Hood, and this is my wife, Lady Marian." His announcement garnered the attention of everyone in the clearing. "I bear a message from Geoffrey, the honorable former Sheriff of Nottingham."

In his best Archery-Tournament-Announcer voice, Robin read the terms and conditions for Geoffrey and Clifton's return. When some outlaws started murmuring, Robin adjusted his cap. At the signal, Little John stepped out of the forest, dusting his hands.

"All of those brute squads are 'napping', Robin," the giant of a man said, trying very hard not to smirk as he rubbed his knuckles.

"Thank you, Little John. Now, shall we continue?" Robin asked, turning to the outlaws.

After hours of arguments and bargains, Robin and Marian were about ready to give up convincing the outlaws that it was in their best interest to accept the terms. Then, a thunderous voice echoed through the clearing as a tall, broad-shouldered man strode in.

"What is going on here, cousin?" he demanded, frowning at Marian. "I go away for a few years, and suddenly I start receiving thousands of missives about how the Sheriff of Nottingham wants to move England!" King Richard was in Sherwood.

"Your Majesty," Marian swept into a graceful curtsy, and watched with amusement as most of the outlaws fell over themselves trying to bow to the king. "Please, let me tell you what has been happening in Sherwood since you went away. Oh," she added, turning to the bands, "someone see if that gnome and his travelling companions can be found—I believe they wanted to speak with the king."

With a mixture of relief, amusement, and anger, Marian and Robin took King Richard aside, and explained to him in detail all that had happened in the past several months. By the time Robin, Marian and the king returned, the clearing was full of almost all of the outlaws participating in the Outlaw Contest. Richard glared over the crowd—they immediately bowed low, trying to avoid his furious eyes.

"I, the King of England, will graciously allow you to continue this idiotic time-wasting contest, but only if you swear by your life to obey the rules that my loyal servant, the Sheriff of Nottingham, has so kindly compiled for your benefit. Even in my absence, you will obey him as he upholds my laws. You may be outlaws, but you are still my subjects!"

King Richard the Lion-hearted drew his sword. The outlaws of Robin's band appeared out of the forest, surrounding those who were part of the Outlaw Contest. "Choose now whether you will abide by these laws, or die!"

Geoffrey sighed in contentment as he sat in his favorite chair in Nottingham castle's library. Through the window he could see smoke from where the outlaws were burning down his second home—the one without any of his possessions. They were using that fire to make all of the flaming arrows, which drastically reduced the smoke in Sherwood and Nottingham.

Clifton walked by, chatting amiably with the outlaws currently spying on him. On the streets, the butcher, baker and candlestick-maker were cheerfully advertising their wares, thrilled to have products to sell.

The outlaws were adjusting to living by the guidelines set by the Sheriff and Captain. After months of misery and chaos, Nottingham was once more a desirable place to live, and a thriving town. And Geoffrey could finally settle down to his old game with Robin Hood.


End file.
